The worst thing that can happen is that you become your parents! Right? Remember thinking that you would never become like your parents, and when you grew up and had kids of your own, you’d be cool and hip, and your kids would love you. Then what happens? You become your parents right? All of the same things that stressed out your parents are now the same things that stress you out. Well, that’s okay things happen and now you realize why your parents were the way they are. The bottom line is you really want to be a good parent and here are seven solid tips that you can use to help improve your parenting skills.
1. Spend time with your children. Yes, life is tough and finding the time to spend with the kids is sometimes really hard to do. But at the end of the day kids really just want to spend time with their parents, and the parents have spent time with their kids are the ones that can make a very positive impact. If you have more than one child, find ways to spend time alone with each of your children. Make a habit of taking one child with you when you do the grocery shopping for instance so that you can spend some time alone together. Give each child a chance to feel special. In much the same way a neglected puppy becomes a problem puppy, your children need attention. You don’t need to spend money on them, you don’t need to find all kinds of things for them, you just need to be there with them.
2. Communicate with your children. They say that 90% of communication is listening, so listen. Be genuinely interested in whatever news they care to share with you about whatever might be happening at school or with their friends. Try not to have any preconceived notions your children talk to you. Sometimes you may want to jump into the conversation but your children well appreciated if you can just allow them to talk. Take the time to explain things to your children and give them reasons. Make sure they understand and when you need them to do something clearly outline your expectations. Involve your children in the discussion and be open with them. Parent soar able to express themselves to the children often have better relationships with them. Children who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
3. Build your child’s self-esteem. Be a cheerleader. If you have kids and they feel that you are rooting for them, and they’ll be loyal to you and look up to you. Your words and actions affect your child’s self-esteem. Praise your child’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Let your child do things independently. Be generous with your praise, but make sure that it is sincere. Look for the good and call attention to it. But that does not mean to ignore the problems either.
4. Discipline your child. Be consistent with discipline and set limits. When you set an expectation you need to make sure that you hold yourself accountable. Your children will be confused if you are inconsistent with their expectations. Established guidelines and follow them.
5. Be a good role model. Do not live by the model do as I say, not as I do. Children are smart and they pick up quickly on hypocritical behavior. The last thing you can do is say one thing and do another. Once you lose your credibility with your children it may be difficult or impossible to regain.
6. Show that your love is unconditional. As an effective parent, you are responsible for correcting and guiding your child. This child is you, and you are the child. There is a genetic and biological connection between the two of you. The matter what happens, your child will always be there and you will also be there. Understand that your child will make errors just like you did when you were growing up. There is a phrase and the phrase goes… It is what it is. Remember, there are things you can control and things you cannot control, make sure you know the difference.
7. Recognize your own needs and limitations. While you are a parent and they are your children, don’t ever forget that you are a special unique individual. You need your own space and you need to respect that and provided for yourself. You also need to teach your children that they need to respect you as an individual also. You are their parents, but you’re also a special and unique person. If you can get your children to understand that, and can respect your own private time while you respect theirs, ultimately you should have a great relationship.